Down the Rabbit hole

as"life is absurd and it makes no sense"

strangely we sit and time passes, history unfolds, people document angles others dont. Some of our history fades into significance and others turns into the vapours of time. Somehow there seems to be a difference between the documented and undocumented past of our race. Humanity used in the loosest sense has undergone changes and waves, covering a past we know nothing of.

We dream of dragons, of giant crocodiles, not having ever seen these dragons. Something inside our conscious and subconscious meme we call our origin, tells a tale we cannot remember. I thought I had left all of this behind, a different part of the world and a history clouded with lies, deceit and inaccuracies.

Ok so the cursory apology is inserted in here .. the first piece was written some months ago, circa 29 february.

a lot of time has drifted between then and now.. yet i can see i may have dawdled off on another tangent but returned back to the same point.
In the past a lot more I also thought a lot about dragons and dreams and giant crocodiles. these are all still part of some of the aboriginal cultures. I read an interesting article about giant bird paintings in caves that precede our current eurocentric collective memories. These birds were similar to the moa, yet the died out even longer back. Even here there is a fragmentation in terms of whether the current "memories" of moa are those of the indigini of this island of it is something that precedes the maori and comes from the moariri ..? who knows
but what is evident is that we know little of that which went before us, how many of us knew of the amazing library in Lisboa that burnt down in the 15th century after the massive earthquake, or about the Tsunami's along this broken coast or the Japanese tsunami markers hidden in the forest. 

But none of this is actually all that topical is it, we worry about things that are inevitable, we stand to one side and watch as we slowly dip into the sea, or the sea slowly takes us back.

I dreamt of raindrops fighting in the clouds
fighting to return to the highest peaks
trying to get out of the sea and to return to the white
the stark clear depths of the planet

We chase them all back and down to the sea again
for how much longer


was watching a movie recently that sparked some though inside, especially around the way water just keeps pouring into the sea and how little we know about the fish in the rivers. One thing that was evident was that there was something in their genes driving them up.. These is something inside of us pulling and pushing us along the path forwards.

Oh and some things do change,  once again the pre-birthday exhistential crisis hit, I suppose it was bound to after an absence of a couple of years.. It was bound to hit with some vengence.. This time it hit straight between the eyes, not giving me chance to cower or seek cover. I stood paralyzed by my own brain. Going through and through silly things, not knowing which way, filled with fear, remorse, sadness and a general sense of melancholy all compressed into 2 and a half days. This passed, I recovered and it is another year, I did not herald this in the way I have in the past with my normal ancient European fervor....

But over time things must change, onwards and forwards, with an ever clear and present memory of the past.

back again soon I hope..