as i sit here alone filled with melancholy
i ponder on about time and things passing
i wonder of world passing through time
things have changed
time changes everything
i wonder as life it passes
we grow we change we ponder
life continues on its inevitable passage through childhood, puberty and adulthood
the earth it follows, its cries screaming out
why it screams why it screams
the answer hangs in the air think and dank with an amber fading light
existence, humanity it cries
why why why
we torture the world around us, ignoring the screams
are we deaf, can we not hear the world crying around us
the pain, the tears, the dust, the smoke
a society in flames and tears
why i ask
why
the human nature
why have we lost our touch with nature, humanity and those around us
a tear wells up inside me
tears for lives, and nature gone
what for a piece of paper
paper representing that which we deem as wealth
why
is it that important
we lose our touch we lose our existence, yet we plod along as humans, why the tears of our run deep furrows into its dry and cracking skin..
why I ask
Why
..................
Friday, February 20, 2009
an appology
even to me my miss spelling and chaotic verboseness has reached a new level.. that is after reading my recent blog .. which i seldom do ..
But it is in an attempt to cement that which is flowing through my brain in moments, sub moments of time into words that cannot or will not easily be expressed ...
sometimes i wonder if ... actually i am not sure what i wonder about .. lonesome wandering through the parts of my brain known and unknown even to me. the thoughts .. where they come from i have no idea.. why i write them .. well because this way you have to listen without showing boredom or confusion.. no that is a reality .. in the existence i experience as my own .. albeit a self referencing one .. things are a cloud of inner doubt and moment by moment experience of the world around us... i suspect that most of us battle to comprehend the amount of information entering our brains each moment of the day wishing for some solace and peace from the maddening croud .. sounding more and more simple as i plough throught the words eminating from the fingers of my hand .. the extension of my sould that is visible to a select fiewl, not by choice, but more likely by random observation or alocation...
on a more lucid view of these times in chaos .. i have little more to offer than they are .... times are random, time is fleeting ... i cannot get a hold of it .. is it possibel that we as a human race are losign a grip on reality .. no not that this is something new.. we are now moving into a new ground or at least i belive so.. there are those who belive otherwise .. that this merely a phase thatw e as a human race have been through before.. nothing new nothing different .. just a different manifestation of the human races ability to rock the boat .. punch holes in the hull of life.. slowley the waers of life invade our existence, note nothat punching a hole in the hull of life we lose life, we are letting life in.. and life, living and existence is chaotic.. are we just opening pandora's box again.. .. yes we are doing it to ourselves .. maybe there are to many people on this ship to many views.. to many things .. all these conflicting views .. metling into a pot like never before.. in the past geographic speration time differences, language differences and the likes kept us apart and killed us .. now slowly or rapidly depending on your frame of reference as we melt together int his mixing pot , all the good.the bad, the unknow we cannot even begin to predict the outcome of what to expect .. the number of intractions increase per second, the stochasticy of life starts to grow and develop into thebeast with many heards fighting with itself, the end is neigh .. or is it just the beging of a new phase .. what do we have to endure to go through this pahase in our human existance ... more sadness dismay, happiness, unending life .. countries at war people at war, idealisms.... nothing new .. al as old as the sun .. is it merely yhe elvel of observance .. and like I mmentioned before does the chaos increase or decrease with the increase of observance of the human existence and the increase in observants? or situations being observed.. are we testing the limits of what can and cannot be experienced, observed and controlled.. how long before we spin away .. thrown intot he chaos we as a human race have created turning back to most banal and primitive ways of survival ... llok at our worldin chaos .. financial systems imploding due the fact that they as a premise had not premise at all but were only a construct of those who built and profited out of them .. how could things become so bstract on the one hand .. and so simple ont he other hand .. life is no becoming more real and more of a challenge .. food crises brought on by the nature of futures, profit, greed and insanity ...
where does it stop .. where did it start .. are we acountable for what happens .. does it make a difference when we make a difference, what is the critical mass to make a change ..
the one thing that ahs allways worried me about the critical amss of change is the speed at which we live our lives and experience them.. things happen.. how long is it before what happened hasbeen clouded in a maize and smoke cloud of life around us .. 9/11 ... not that that is without its doubt .. is almost forgotten ? yet int eh same vein poppy day is not .. the relative importance and volumes of day to day information that we are being bombarded with tends to skew our perspectives.. disregarding the smokescreens of marketing being fed to us by the goverments of countries that we as a people sic! have voted for ... why is no goverement accountable to their people for their deeds? and not this is not a stab at our goverement .. but all goverments.. the lies .. the deceit .. the "protection" they deem is neccesary in their descision in what to tell us .. does global warming exist as a manifestation fo the human race .. or is it merely a cycle of this wonderfull planet we live on .. is it neccesary to polute the waters of our rivers .. not it isnt .. but isnt it neccesary to stop people doing this .... yes .. but why in name of humanity do we allow it .. i realize that us as people .. as individuals have a difficult time doing anythign about anything .. without being spewt underthe carpet of growth equality and capitalism or marxism .. no matter which way you look at it .. there has to be some jsutification for the actions of the human race sa a whole ..
i ask you with proverbial tears in my eyes .. why is it that humans do what they do......
and NO THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE to find an escape from your role in the existance of the human race.. it is your kick up the but to work out how we can change the world....
But it is in an attempt to cement that which is flowing through my brain in moments, sub moments of time into words that cannot or will not easily be expressed ...
sometimes i wonder if ... actually i am not sure what i wonder about .. lonesome wandering through the parts of my brain known and unknown even to me. the thoughts .. where they come from i have no idea.. why i write them .. well because this way you have to listen without showing boredom or confusion.. no that is a reality .. in the existence i experience as my own .. albeit a self referencing one .. things are a cloud of inner doubt and moment by moment experience of the world around us... i suspect that most of us battle to comprehend the amount of information entering our brains each moment of the day wishing for some solace and peace from the maddening croud .. sounding more and more simple as i plough throught the words eminating from the fingers of my hand .. the extension of my sould that is visible to a select fiewl, not by choice, but more likely by random observation or alocation...
on a more lucid view of these times in chaos .. i have little more to offer than they are .... times are random, time is fleeting ... i cannot get a hold of it .. is it possibel that we as a human race are losign a grip on reality .. no not that this is something new.. we are now moving into a new ground or at least i belive so.. there are those who belive otherwise .. that this merely a phase thatw e as a human race have been through before.. nothing new nothing different .. just a different manifestation of the human races ability to rock the boat .. punch holes in the hull of life.. slowley the waers of life invade our existence, note nothat punching a hole in the hull of life we lose life, we are letting life in.. and life, living and existence is chaotic.. are we just opening pandora's box again.. .. yes we are doing it to ourselves .. maybe there are to many people on this ship to many views.. to many things .. all these conflicting views .. metling into a pot like never before.. in the past geographic speration time differences, language differences and the likes kept us apart and killed us .. now slowly or rapidly depending on your frame of reference as we melt together int his mixing pot , all the good.the bad, the unknow we cannot even begin to predict the outcome of what to expect .. the number of intractions increase per second, the stochasticy of life starts to grow and develop into thebeast with many heards fighting with itself, the end is neigh .. or is it just the beging of a new phase .. what do we have to endure to go through this pahase in our human existance ... more sadness dismay, happiness, unending life .. countries at war people at war, idealisms.... nothing new .. al as old as the sun .. is it merely yhe elvel of observance .. and like I mmentioned before does the chaos increase or decrease with the increase of observance of the human existence and the increase in observants? or situations being observed.. are we testing the limits of what can and cannot be experienced, observed and controlled.. how long before we spin away .. thrown intot he chaos we as a human race have created turning back to most banal and primitive ways of survival ... llok at our worldin chaos .. financial systems imploding due the fact that they as a premise had not premise at all but were only a construct of those who built and profited out of them .. how could things become so bstract on the one hand .. and so simple ont he other hand .. life is no becoming more real and more of a challenge .. food crises brought on by the nature of futures, profit, greed and insanity ...
where does it stop .. where did it start .. are we acountable for what happens .. does it make a difference when we make a difference, what is the critical mass to make a change ..
the one thing that ahs allways worried me about the critical amss of change is the speed at which we live our lives and experience them.. things happen.. how long is it before what happened hasbeen clouded in a maize and smoke cloud of life around us .. 9/11 ... not that that is without its doubt .. is almost forgotten ? yet int eh same vein poppy day is not .. the relative importance and volumes of day to day information that we are being bombarded with tends to skew our perspectives.. disregarding the smokescreens of marketing being fed to us by the goverments of countries that we as a people sic! have voted for ... why is no goverement accountable to their people for their deeds? and not this is not a stab at our goverement .. but all goverments.. the lies .. the deceit .. the "protection" they deem is neccesary in their descision in what to tell us .. does global warming exist as a manifestation fo the human race .. or is it merely a cycle of this wonderfull planet we live on .. is it neccesary to polute the waters of our rivers .. not it isnt .. but isnt it neccesary to stop people doing this .... yes .. but why in name of humanity do we allow it .. i realize that us as people .. as individuals have a difficult time doing anythign about anything .. without being spewt underthe carpet of growth equality and capitalism or marxism .. no matter which way you look at it .. there has to be some jsutification for the actions of the human race sa a whole ..
i ask you with proverbial tears in my eyes .. why is it that humans do what they do......
and NO THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE to find an escape from your role in the existance of the human race.. it is your kick up the but to work out how we can change the world....
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
on the nothingness and randomness of our lives
i must apologise to my few regular readers, I have been slack .. though my mind has been wondering through the rambles of life, like vines they have been crowding my thoughts, pulling at the strings of my existence, waiting to expose themselves.. like a beer bottle dropped on the floor ready to explode my thoughts have been bubling from within waiting to expose themselves.. yet the inspiration was lacking, maybe not lacking but the application thereof was missing.. why i cannot say .. but it was..
on a more personal note, my life, well the life i live in my head has been spinnging round like a merrygoround .. Not fear not .. not the wellings of absoloute dispear, the darkness of chronic depression that can at times fill my mind with unending dispear.. no but a fealing un unrest .. a feeling of anxiety unbeknownst to me ..
i must admit in this turbulent time of dispear in the world.. this ahs even perpetuated its way into myn daily life .. goddammit .. i bought some bread the other day .. not as apart of a larger insane shop .. but rather as a purchase on its own .. and a loaf of bread has soared to R10 a loaf .. when did this happen ...
this piece below was a piece i started writing .. but could not complete ..
Why is it that life inevitably throws confusion and randomness into the path of our inevitable existence? That things will and wont be as we expect them. things are totally predictable for moments and then crumble into change and our compass shows us a new path into the unknown. or not?
what am i rambling about ... maybe the general discontent of being a human.. the challenges we face on a daily basis ..
this may have been in the midst of some serious dispear about the state of the universe in my mind.
I find my mind wanders again .. id dont seem to be able to containt hat which i am feeling and convert it to words.. a strange sensation, my mind i jumping two and fro..
must i must confess that one of the only, not only I exagurate, constants at this time in our lives is the change, all we can be asured off is change. My view from my position of observance of thsoe around me only hightens the sensation of impending chaos trying to manifest it self in any which way it can. Arround me, the signs of chaos, panic and fear are resonating in peoples behaviour... here i will attempt to protect the innocent and guilty by notmention their names or even a reference to who they are ... But holy makrell things are getting wierd out there ..
what does the future hold for us, now int he short term, the medium and least alone the future, what is the point on the horizon .. i lost my words there.. where is the interface to the continium of time going to.. things seem to be becomming more chaotic and random by the minute, time flies as if it is on speed. I notice anxiety creepign into those arround me a frenetic panic to find meaning in existance, their own, others and in general the world around us. I hear stories of gloom and doom all around me, hoping o find some element or glimmer of hope peeking its head out of the grey of our existence. it is as if things are flyying by at a rate that none of us can comprihend... Is it possible for us to slow things down any more.. there are moments where i can appreciate the moment the serenity and the expresiion of now and the moment and not the flurry and insane continium of chaotic and random existence.. when you may ask? but hese moments of sloace are mine and mine alone, as soon as an observer motions into thsoe moments and views what it is i am experiencing i fear that schroedingers cat i may just implode into an unending continium of choice and expectation.. where the observer cements my future without my ability to transend the effect of the observer, what happens when the observer si the one being observed,, what happens then what happens to initial observation does it spin into an infinte chaotic and random milleu of possibilities within the observers reference or beyond to that of the pobserver observing the observer... doethis level of multiple levels of observance lead us to an infnite level of possibilities outside of our frame of reference ... is this when the proverbial wheels fall fo the bus.. is this when the fat lady sings like a nightingale or like a RB artist or even like an angry young soul.. bleating out the words of insanity, expressing the turmoil and insanity of our esxistence..
why I ask you again, as i am sure i have asked before .. not neccessarily in my random ramblings through the eyes of life through the portal into my soul.. do people do what they do .. what drives people to put away decency, put away inegrity, put away honesty put away their souls ... an not even in a spiritual sense to embark on moments of fleeting insanity .. i know this may seem random and chaotic and not really getting to point .. but this is just a random vent at people in general all encompassing more than a a few thousand words of observational garbage in my brain ..
but back to the observer ... does the cat stay alive or in state of stasis when he, it, her or the nothingness is not aware of the observer? or if ithe observer is an accidental observer ? does this change the outcome of the incident or future ..
geez i am spouting crap .. but you have to excuse me from my long layoff .. itahs beens ome time .. and it may take some time o be able to transferr the words to electrons to the internet .. i am finding the words are flowing faster than the fingers can type .. thoughts are pulsing through my brain, concepts.,. faster than i can type leatalone cemment themto screen..
but i promise a more lucid view of the world tomorrow .. albeit a brief one ..
on a more personal note, my life, well the life i live in my head has been spinnging round like a merrygoround .. Not fear not .. not the wellings of absoloute dispear, the darkness of chronic depression that can at times fill my mind with unending dispear.. no but a fealing un unrest .. a feeling of anxiety unbeknownst to me ..
i must admit in this turbulent time of dispear in the world.. this ahs even perpetuated its way into myn daily life .. goddammit .. i bought some bread the other day .. not as apart of a larger insane shop .. but rather as a purchase on its own .. and a loaf of bread has soared to R10 a loaf .. when did this happen ...
this piece below was a piece i started writing .. but could not complete ..
Why is it that life inevitably throws confusion and randomness into the path of our inevitable existence? That things will and wont be as we expect them. things are totally predictable for moments and then crumble into change and our compass shows us a new path into the unknown. or not?
what am i rambling about ... maybe the general discontent of being a human.. the challenges we face on a daily basis ..
this may have been in the midst of some serious dispear about the state of the universe in my mind.
I find my mind wanders again .. id dont seem to be able to containt hat which i am feeling and convert it to words.. a strange sensation, my mind i jumping two and fro..
must i must confess that one of the only, not only I exagurate, constants at this time in our lives is the change, all we can be asured off is change. My view from my position of observance of thsoe around me only hightens the sensation of impending chaos trying to manifest it self in any which way it can. Arround me, the signs of chaos, panic and fear are resonating in peoples behaviour... here i will attempt to protect the innocent and guilty by notmention their names or even a reference to who they are ... But holy makrell things are getting wierd out there ..
what does the future hold for us, now int he short term, the medium and least alone the future, what is the point on the horizon .. i lost my words there.. where is the interface to the continium of time going to.. things seem to be becomming more chaotic and random by the minute, time flies as if it is on speed. I notice anxiety creepign into those arround me a frenetic panic to find meaning in existance, their own, others and in general the world around us. I hear stories of gloom and doom all around me, hoping o find some element or glimmer of hope peeking its head out of the grey of our existence. it is as if things are flyying by at a rate that none of us can comprihend... Is it possible for us to slow things down any more.. there are moments where i can appreciate the moment the serenity and the expresiion of now and the moment and not the flurry and insane continium of chaotic and random existence.. when you may ask? but hese moments of sloace are mine and mine alone, as soon as an observer motions into thsoe moments and views what it is i am experiencing i fear that schroedingers cat i may just implode into an unending continium of choice and expectation.. where the observer cements my future without my ability to transend the effect of the observer, what happens when the observer si the one being observed,, what happens then what happens to initial observation does it spin into an infinte chaotic and random milleu of possibilities within the observers reference or beyond to that of the pobserver observing the observer... doethis level of multiple levels of observance lead us to an infnite level of possibilities outside of our frame of reference ... is this when the proverbial wheels fall fo the bus.. is this when the fat lady sings like a nightingale or like a RB artist or even like an angry young soul.. bleating out the words of insanity, expressing the turmoil and insanity of our esxistence..
why I ask you again, as i am sure i have asked before .. not neccessarily in my random ramblings through the eyes of life through the portal into my soul.. do people do what they do .. what drives people to put away decency, put away inegrity, put away honesty put away their souls ... an not even in a spiritual sense to embark on moments of fleeting insanity .. i know this may seem random and chaotic and not really getting to point .. but this is just a random vent at people in general all encompassing more than a a few thousand words of observational garbage in my brain ..
but back to the observer ... does the cat stay alive or in state of stasis when he, it, her or the nothingness is not aware of the observer? or if ithe observer is an accidental observer ? does this change the outcome of the incident or future ..
geez i am spouting crap .. but you have to excuse me from my long layoff .. itahs beens ome time .. and it may take some time o be able to transferr the words to electrons to the internet .. i am finding the words are flowing faster than the fingers can type .. thoughts are pulsing through my brain, concepts.,. faster than i can type leatalone cemment themto screen..
but i promise a more lucid view of the world tomorrow .. albeit a brief one ..
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