on something and nothing
i wonder a lot
sometimes i thinkt o much i suppose there is to much to worry and wonder about, where i should rather be wondering about thing about me .. all in the samantics we say .. the wonder and happiness and sadness grief and anxiety around us drives us forward like tsunami on a good day on others we lay still like boat stuck in the middle of doldrums ..
yes there are spans of half finished blogs sitting on my laptop at work .. why .. procrastination // no maybe rather the quest for perfection .. maybe not perfection, but rather incomplete fragments of thoughts that for some or other reason i never get to complete .. beit time, anxiety confussion or what..
but on a lighter note it is the rugby this weekend.. the ipl has passed .. the soccer comes..
man u lost .. who the hell actually gives a damn .. well a lot of people it appears ..
that is something for another day
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
something small
appologies for the delays, but there is a bumper edition on my laptop in waiting ..
but something that struck me strongly this eve was that .. yes wait for it ..
it is not the actual destination of the journey that really matters, but rather that we are on the journey and that we are going somewhere .. it is the slow stagnation of our brains that is the rot that feeds on us from the inside..
we cannot say that we are alive if we do not travel in body, mind or spirit most of us never leave the couch inside our heads let alone the couch inside our house, office or car.
is the escape of the body or the mind of more or less importance? difficult to say, but all that i can itterate is that we have to take this leap of ... I wanted to say faith, but this is not a leap of faith rather a journey to within or without.. somewhere to go to in our minds and our lives.. rather than crawling around in the dark recesses of our pity and melodrama .. life is only what we live of it .. it might seem like a misspellingism .. no it isnt that is what I meant to say .. bla bla fish paste .. But where we live is where we are albeit in our minds, our experiences our expressions of life.
I had a lot to say in my long and bumper edition but caught up in slef doubt and concern, not being able to commit to the word and releasing the xpressions of arbness flow from within and pur into the withoutwards .
to slightly more serious note I was thinking about things that motivate me, or should motivate me o did motivate me or whatever.. things that bring the expression to life within my existence.. be it a picture a photo a moment and expression.. and within my withdrawness I have SUFFERED my own self pitty and have given into it and slowly and surely just given into the nothingness and void of living.. why you may ask? rather say dont ask me ask yourself cos it is you, not me inside you that is hindering and stopping your own expression.. my life and expression is of little consequence within yours.. albeit as a periferal anomaly or aberance.. but ther are those who do have an effect those who do have an impact and it is those that we have to look out for and appreciate . and appreciate the moments that we ahve and enjoy life as much as we can within the deep recesses of our minds and the jails we build for oursleves within the confines of the wrld and society, we, me, you may or amy not fight against being part of..note the implied ambivoilabnce there .. you can choose :-)
no on a more serious note .. my heartfelt appology to certain of ou who actually gave a DAM and read this and did not Cry :-) no seriously I was under the impression that no one of consequence read this till soemone mentioned that they did .. and then that drove meeven further into a spiral of emptiness an doubt within the word space in brtain.. stoppping the words from flowing from the part within me .. but seriaaas ..t here were things over the last while that have inspired me beyond belief.. more on that another time .. things that have dismayed me more often than not the entire human race and its insane penchant for self destruction .. and of course the rest of all the shit ..
but let it be know that this will at least now return to normality in that i will spurt more or less crap \
but back to essence of where this began and the bread.. and the life within.. I was baking the other day .. yes no not just sitting in the sun whilst the life steamed out from my ears int eh sun .. no actually gave it some thought and experimented with some new breads... and to my happiness and dismay the bread was good yet not at all waht i ahd expected.. those damn yanks really dont know anything about making real bread .. but it sure tastes fine ... made soem or toerh american breadie thingie with eggs in .... ineteresting is all that i can say ...
but nice ..
but as they say enough is enough and i have to go
adios
and if you get chance whatch fanboys .. that is if you enjoy the kevin smith jeanre no frigin idea how to even spell that word at this stage of my brain .. but it is really not to bad .. silly but nice with a flavour of the force for all those star wars fanatics with a healthy dose of anti-trekkiedom with a really neat cameo by william shatner as himself .. that man is a legend .. ahve you ehard him sing ... now there is someone with goedspa :-_) and his role in boston lega l .. awesome :-)
adios china's
but something that struck me strongly this eve was that .. yes wait for it ..
it is not the actual destination of the journey that really matters, but rather that we are on the journey and that we are going somewhere .. it is the slow stagnation of our brains that is the rot that feeds on us from the inside..
we cannot say that we are alive if we do not travel in body, mind or spirit most of us never leave the couch inside our heads let alone the couch inside our house, office or car.
is the escape of the body or the mind of more or less importance? difficult to say, but all that i can itterate is that we have to take this leap of ... I wanted to say faith, but this is not a leap of faith rather a journey to within or without.. somewhere to go to in our minds and our lives.. rather than crawling around in the dark recesses of our pity and melodrama .. life is only what we live of it .. it might seem like a misspellingism .. no it isnt that is what I meant to say .. bla bla fish paste .. But where we live is where we are albeit in our minds, our experiences our expressions of life.
I had a lot to say in my long and bumper edition but caught up in slef doubt and concern, not being able to commit to the word and releasing the xpressions of arbness flow from within and pur into the withoutwards .
to slightly more serious note I was thinking about things that motivate me, or should motivate me o did motivate me or whatever.. things that bring the expression to life within my existence.. be it a picture a photo a moment and expression.. and within my withdrawness I have SUFFERED my own self pitty and have given into it and slowly and surely just given into the nothingness and void of living.. why you may ask? rather say dont ask me ask yourself cos it is you, not me inside you that is hindering and stopping your own expression.. my life and expression is of little consequence within yours.. albeit as a periferal anomaly or aberance.. but ther are those who do have an effect those who do have an impact and it is those that we have to look out for and appreciate . and appreciate the moments that we ahve and enjoy life as much as we can within the deep recesses of our minds and the jails we build for oursleves within the confines of the wrld and society, we, me, you may or amy not fight against being part of..note the implied ambivoilabnce there .. you can choose :-)
no on a more serious note .. my heartfelt appology to certain of ou who actually gave a DAM and read this and did not Cry :-) no seriously I was under the impression that no one of consequence read this till soemone mentioned that they did .. and then that drove meeven further into a spiral of emptiness an doubt within the word space in brtain.. stoppping the words from flowing from the part within me .. but seriaaas ..t here were things over the last while that have inspired me beyond belief.. more on that another time .. things that have dismayed me more often than not the entire human race and its insane penchant for self destruction .. and of course the rest of all the shit ..
but let it be know that this will at least now return to normality in that i will spurt more or less crap \
but back to essence of where this began and the bread.. and the life within.. I was baking the other day .. yes no not just sitting in the sun whilst the life steamed out from my ears int eh sun .. no actually gave it some thought and experimented with some new breads... and to my happiness and dismay the bread was good yet not at all waht i ahd expected.. those damn yanks really dont know anything about making real bread .. but it sure tastes fine ... made soem or toerh american breadie thingie with eggs in .... ineteresting is all that i can say ...
but nice ..
but as they say enough is enough and i have to go
adios
and if you get chance whatch fanboys .. that is if you enjoy the kevin smith jeanre no frigin idea how to even spell that word at this stage of my brain .. but it is really not to bad .. silly but nice with a flavour of the force for all those star wars fanatics with a healthy dose of anti-trekkiedom with a really neat cameo by william shatner as himself .. that man is a legend .. ahve you ehard him sing ... now there is someone with goedspa :-_) and his role in boston lega l .. awesome :-)
adios china's
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