a little further on in life

some times i get caught up wondering about the past.. what if it was what would have been .. what could i have..

and the last couple of weeks have been no exception. I met up with some friends of old from my previous life.. sounds like i was some kind of drug lord or soemthing :-)
No something mroe mundane .. i was an entomologist .. yeah like those geeky dudes in silence of the lambs .. the dudes in the basement of the building. Not quite but it was a lot different from my current incarnation as an IT geek .. well something like that ..

Sometimes I wonder if I could have would have should have continued along on this path of life .. possibly impossible .. like i said inconsiquential babelings along the path of nothingness.. that is life isnt it .

Well more on the note of the weekend we had fun we had fun we had seasons in the sun. We had a whole lot of folk over for the day to celebrate a birthday .. fun was had by all.. but ona differnt topic I was considering our interpid adventure to the land of clouds.. Well somehow there seems to be some form of karmic or god like plan at play.. our journey seems to continiously be moved out.. something or whatever is keeping us from that journey, it appears that there are still stones unturned on this side of the curtain. The purple haze still remains over our current existance. What to do I am sure will permiate our existance, soon enough. It just seems as if our current path is predecided into another route ... soemtimes it would be nice to know where and how our lives will progress. That would be better for me .. but suppose that would be against the nature of the universe as i know it .. It just does not answer to my thoughts.. it appears that i must answer to its calls .. it amy be the slippery hills or the giant stone gongs or the huge red stone monlyth? But somethign will not give .. not without some force or fight .. things just dont seem to be within my most simplest understandings..

something that pulls and drives at the strings of my hearts my lonliest plannet and more close to me my continent of birth. I get pushed and pulled along the sands of time without conviction or hate not knowing where to goto. from the dry sands of our home to the lands of unending clouds. The mountains enshrowded in mist or should i rather say myst?

Suppose there is little in fighting the movement of my fight against my Karma, where the flows of my enternal river take me only time will kow. soon enough the reality of life will be bourne upon me with fury of the son crossing the Verge of the Horizon. Its deepr red and amber its glowing mass breaking through the horizon of time and the day.. but more tomorrow