To say that our time here has not be a challenge would be a lie.. One thing that has become more and more evident for me is the development of new mantra's to overcome the extreme levels of complacency that time has welded into my brain. It is amazing how time develops complacency in even those who are attempting not to subscribe to the small mindlessness-ness-ness of it all. We are all so often trapped in the daily drudge and insidiousness of life and its trends. I suspect the most obvious is the way we allow ourselves to fall prey .. no not pray .. or is it .. bringing me to peer pressure and the pray, but more on that later.. we tend to allow ourselves to indulge in our weakest links or tendencies. It is the social softening that we go through from the social hardening and intolerance and tolerance.. there are things we have become soft with, us firsto/thirdo/firsto world children of the children of the trekkers and immigrants have become soft, we have lost the sheen of idealism and entrepreneurship that is in essence the key to the survival of our blood lines.. But back to the complacency and the doubt that it can bring into our lives, whence we have been left to mellow like good wine in the sun we have become little more than sour grapes and have not mellowed but become bad tasting acetic acid, where with the correct nurturing and development could have been otherwise. where is the spark, the ability and more so the willingness to learn and experience and spark gone.
Oh for I walk through the value of self doubt,
I shall not doubt
I shall stand tall
I shall not faulter, for my mind and my spirit holds me in good stead
as i stumble forward in the darkness that we call loneliness and sadness
I shall fear no evil as there are no snakes in the grass
I shall go forward and grow and be
We tend to complacentasize (a word i just created), and fear sorry for ourselves.
Is it because our boot laces are to short to strap ourselves ;- I fear it is actually because we no longer wear boots for the bulk of our lives, we have learnt to sit in the eddy and not go out and feed. whence the flow in the river changes those who are left in the eddies and cannot swim though the currents shall perish and suffer hunger in mind, soul and spirit.
But enough of the self wallowing and self pity let us us go forward, but a note to my current inspiration .. all do go forth and listen to this mindless drivel .. yes that is all it is .. but in no way incomparable to this drivel go and listen to "like a mad dog running through a puddle of gravy" http://puddleofgravy.blogspot.com/ .. this is moist excellent stuff.
But back to the pink lady, I apologize not the Pink Lady, but rather the quaint lady with the pink swatches in her hair, sounds a little like a cat stevens or shawn philips song.. But isn't. It is from people like this we should gather inspiration in instilling identity and colour in a fairly coulorless train trip. For one such as I who would be destined to the dark and dreary in the land of the sun.. the dark and dreariness of the clothes drives me to b right colours and Madiba shirts... it is just insane.
But more on the prayer at the station.. now we have a bizarre scenario where peer pressure from those who are not deemed to be peer pressuring is creating a peer pressure of its own.
Strange but true .. But more on that later.
Ah .. i have now seen the Fish, not to be confused with the light nor the people of the fish, who stand at the station and prey, not quite pray, but they almost did.. But the real fish, I have seen them.. and they are there .. most amazing thing these fish they are .. nothing like this you have ever seen before.
Ah but one last though on the people on the train, there is a person on the train, actually people on the train... there are lots of people on the train.. But interestingly a think i find is the diversity and differences in the people on the train and the way they are all so sad and somber.. it is a strain the train. But more importantly it is the wonder and amazement of the women with the Big hands that I now speak. It is freakishly strange as I sit and stare, more than i should I suppose, but it is deemed as one of the options on a train pastime questionnaire that i filled in .. but it is called "people watching" :-) insane as it may be. But there is a particular person on the train, who in specific angles looks a lot like a character in TV miniseries called Californication, but unfortunate as it is there are enigma's, this woman has the gunie-goog-goog hand, big and manly, as if they have been painted on by a child.. The people here are definitely the mixing pot of the people..
and there is so much more to tell of the crazy train people, but more of that later .. enough now .. it is time to get back to work again..
on my cursory glance of the whole piece ramble, i do believe it is time again to listen to the great words of the 21 st century poet Marshall Bruce Mathers III
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
and the last little bit of eminemememe
Sometimes I just feel like, quittin I still might
Why do I put up this fight, why do I still write
Sometimes it's hard enough just dealin with real life
Sometimes I wanna jump on stage and just kill mics
And show these people what my level of skill's like
But I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life
Somethin ain't right, hit the brake lights
Case of the stage fright, drawin a blank like
Da-duh-duh-da-da, it ain't my fault
Great then I falls, my insides crawl
and I clam up (wham) I just slam shut
I just can't do it, my whole manhood's
just been stripped, I have just been vicked
So I must then get off the bus then split
Man fuck this shit yo, I'm goin the fuck home
World on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 Mile Road
I think the most important being of all this rambling is to instill the self belief that we have always had about having the ability to do anything and conquer anything .. it is all about self belief
this gets translated down to the simplest thing, we have to start small..
start small , go forth, plant the seed
watch it grow
tend it, the seed grows tall
later
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