Wednesday, February 11, 2009

on the nothingness and randomness of our lives

i must apologise to my few regular readers, I have been slack .. though my mind has been wondering through the rambles of life, like vines they have been crowding my thoughts, pulling at the strings of my existence, waiting to expose themselves.. like a beer bottle dropped on the floor ready to explode my thoughts have been bubling from within waiting to expose themselves.. yet the inspiration was lacking, maybe not lacking but the application thereof was missing.. why i cannot say .. but it was..

on a more personal note, my life, well the life i live in my head has been spinnging round like a merrygoround .. Not fear not .. not the wellings of absoloute dispear, the darkness of chronic depression that can at times fill my mind with unending dispear.. no but a fealing un unrest .. a feeling of anxiety unbeknownst to me ..

i must admit in this turbulent time of dispear in the world.. this ahs even perpetuated its way into myn daily life .. goddammit .. i bought some bread the other day .. not as apart of a larger insane shop .. but rather as a purchase on its own .. and a loaf of bread has soared to R10 a loaf .. when did this happen ...

this piece below was a piece i started writing .. but could not complete ..

Why is it that life inevitably throws confusion and randomness into the path of our inevitable existence? That things will and wont be as we expect them. things are totally predictable for moments and then crumble into change and our compass shows us a new path into the unknown. or not?
what am i rambling about ... maybe the general discontent of being a human.. the challenges we face on a daily basis ..

this may have been in the midst of some serious dispear about the state of the universe in my mind.

I find my mind wanders again .. id dont seem to be able to containt hat which i am feeling and convert it to words.. a strange sensation, my mind i jumping two and fro..

must i must confess that one of the only, not only I exagurate, constants at this time in our lives is the change, all we can be asured off is change. My view from my position of observance of thsoe around me only hightens the sensation of impending chaos trying to manifest it self in any which way it can. Arround me, the signs of chaos, panic and fear are resonating in peoples behaviour... here i will attempt to protect the innocent and guilty by notmention their names or even a reference to who they are ... But holy makrell things are getting wierd out there ..

what does the future hold for us, now int he short term, the medium and least alone the future, what is the point on the horizon .. i lost my words there.. where is the interface to the continium of time going to.. things seem to be becomming more chaotic and random by the minute, time flies as if it is on speed. I notice anxiety creepign into those arround me a frenetic panic to find meaning in existance, their own, others and in general the world around us. I hear stories of gloom and doom all around me, hoping o find some element or glimmer of hope peeking its head out of the grey of our existence. it is as if things are flyying by at a rate that none of us can comprihend... Is it possible for us to slow things down any more.. there are moments where i can appreciate the moment the serenity and the expresiion of now and the moment and not the flurry and insane continium of chaotic and random existence.. when you may ask? but hese moments of sloace are mine and mine alone, as soon as an observer motions into thsoe moments and views what it is i am experiencing i fear that schroedingers cat i may just implode into an unending continium of choice and expectation.. where the observer cements my future without my ability to transend the effect of the observer, what happens when the observer si the one being observed,, what happens then what happens to initial observation does it spin into an infinte chaotic and random milleu of possibilities within the observers reference or beyond to that of the pobserver observing the observer... doethis level of multiple levels of observance lead us to an infnite level of possibilities outside of our frame of reference ... is this when the proverbial wheels fall fo the bus.. is this when the fat lady sings like a nightingale or like a RB artist or even like an angry young soul.. bleating out the words of insanity, expressing the turmoil and insanity of our esxistence..

why I ask you again, as i am sure i have asked before .. not neccessarily in my random ramblings through the eyes of life through the portal into my soul.. do people do what they do .. what drives people to put away decency, put away inegrity, put away honesty put away their souls ... an not even in a spiritual sense to embark on moments of fleeting insanity .. i know this may seem random and chaotic and not really getting to point .. but this is just a random vent at people in general all encompassing more than a a few thousand words of observational garbage in my brain ..

but back to the observer ... does the cat stay alive or in state of stasis when he, it, her or the nothingness is not aware of the observer? or if ithe observer is an accidental observer ? does this change the outcome of the incident or future ..


geez i am spouting crap .. but you have to excuse me from my long layoff .. itahs beens ome time .. and it may take some time o be able to transferr the words to electrons to the internet .. i am finding the words are flowing faster than the fingers can type .. thoughts are pulsing through my brain, concepts.,. faster than i can type leatalone cemment themto screen..

but i promise a more lucid view of the world tomorrow .. albeit a brief one ..

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