looking down the perspectroscope

I sat wondering the same thought over and over and over which is rather strange to me.. not really knowing what this thought would bring ..

the smae thing that keeps popping into my brain, looking down the perspectroscope is it like looking down or through the whiskey glass? Pondering the future pondering the past we look for meaning through things that have been through things into the future like alice wondering through the looking glass?
what is it about the perspective of looking at our life and others that is just not letting go this time, as a preemptive i apologize for the self indulgent wallow in the same topic again, but i do feel it something that has to come out, but before i start on the journey rambling through the flavours of life i must reminisce about some things that have happened this week, and they of course may be the driver for some of the thoughts behind this endless rambling inside the enclave or inclines of your mind depending on which way you look at it?

But to start I was greeting one of the security guards, for some of my newer readers, the shortersec guard there at Teba, I greeted him goodbye and in the same way I was accustomed to greeting the others and the daily retort i have developed it was a standard greeting of goodbye and see you tomorrow to which he responded an utterance which held me fast in my step and even more in my brain, wrenching my brain out of the routine and straight into the rambling it continuously goes through... and geez i just spelled that right.. but it through my step, my soul and my existence.. he only replied " only God knows" and for those who know me the capitalization is important. It brought me back to phrase i have heard a thousand, maybe not , but many times that has a similar yet maybe not as powerfull implication and impact on me in the moment.. the standard muslem addage of God .. i can never remember the arabeic phrase .. but these both strike me as a perspective and view point on life that we in our western world miss.. not that I am implying it has anything to do with the belief or unbelief of God, a religeon or anything similar, but it is a rider and perspective on life that justifies the unknown the random, seemingly random event to be correct for all of those calvanists amounst us :-), but it is something whereby our daily existence is measured and the breaking of a new day is what it becasue it is what god wills, and that there is some for of existential stasis in their lives, that at least there is no point about worrying about tommorrow whereas our existence is driven by tomorrow and the importance and meanigfull justification and preparation for the day that follows and not just living today on merrits and what it presents to us, how we are bound by the preconceptions and details of our lives and what will happen tommorrow and how we must prepare for the future and for things to come, whereas there are a couple of my readers who will definitely live there lives in continous flow of experiential lifestyle where the days flow into the weeks and things change and time passes and life lives, whereas the bulk of us are caught in the worrying and perception of what the futire will hold fr us rather than foccusing on the current and present danger or life that is surrounding us, we plan we plot, yet how often do we gaze down the looking glass, seeing where life takes us, where ont he ebach nof life do we wash up as debris or flotsam, we are caught up in the panic and paralysis of life, missing life and not going forward and living one moment at a time,

on an entirely different note, most probably one of the bizarrest things happened to me, albeit a really small thing, i should have left the miustype as ting? but I went to the shops with my kidds and there when i returned i noticed soemthing small and red and shiny on the floor.. well not exactly after .. a little later when jens came past to pick up the coppper kettle .. which is another story altogether, but there under my car lay somethign that looked frighteningly like a chinese red shinny fish replica...

I looked past walked.. came back and was forced to look under the car, and lo and behold wht lay there a Goldfish, if i had been a believing man this would be sign of something? but more for another day.. there on the floor lay a living goldfish all battered and beaten.. not just a gold fish but a large goldfish? how wierd .. and it wasnt one of ours? enough ont hat for the moment ..
have to break this stream for a moment or two to make sandwiches for the kids ..

back again .. in flight of making the food..

bringing me bac to something more sinister and thoughtfull, what is it we see when we gaze down the looking glass, or more pertinant what is we see whislt we gaze down the whisky glass? do we see our future do we see our past, we for sure see something, do we see another reality, something we see ourselves in another perspective.. shifting and bending the reality that we know and experience all the time, we see and act in a way which is not consistent with our daily life, or for those really sad people, no that is not meant in a bad way .. that could be their reality and the lives they live is not, this of course is all of course being typed whilst i enjoy some well priced red wine out of tumbler.. you may say tumbler? but in my mind it seems more appropriate to drink wine out of a small conical tumbler than a wine glass .. who the frigin hell knows why .. but that is just the way it is... and that comes down to soem for of acceptanc eof the lives we live in relativity to thsoe around us .. our lives are so significantly different to the people around us, that is of course my self speaking in third person, I cannot speak to you or attest to your level of social homogonizastion .. who knows if that is a real word .. but if i use at least 100000 times all over the web and in other publ;ications there is of course a chance that it could become real .. that is the rule fo course.. are there rules to the life we live? who knows..

and how much life changes beneath your feet.. you can be standing still or running as fast as you want towards something, but life is bound to change beneath you, this is the only stasis and reality that we have. there are those o try to hold on for dear life on thoughts and moments in life, but it is bound to change, the longer we hold the larger our then spins into and insane cyclone of reality.. we cannot alter the reality of life, we can live it, we can exist, experience, but there is no way we can stop it.. it hurtles along in a direction unbeknownst to us, we can challenge and direct the general direction, but if the stochastity and for those calvanists predisposed direction of our lives is directed somewhere else .. then that is where it will go

more later .. reality now challenges my ability to challenge it .. food, children, life and dogs .. let it continue on its path.. where does it take me?