looking down the rabbit hole

on a more sinister note .. there has been another complaint about my spelling:-) oh well i will trie or should rather have been try?

who knows .. but the typing is fast and doesn't always come out so well formed...

but more on the rabbit hole..

what do we see when we look down the rabbit hole of life, or in another way the rabbi whole? we see what we want to see, often not seeing what is actually there. Is this a good or bad thing? I should not be the one to judge..

we often see things we shouldnt see, at times we see things that are there, or should i rather say inside us.. or in a place we perceive to be the reality, but that is rather a perversion of the truth. What grain of truth lies within these thoughts? How easily they can turn rom being a peacefull painted picture to a rapturous, dark and dreary place .. sometimes even filled with disparaging thoughts.. the question we have to ask subjectivly, note that we cannot really ever be totally objective is.. how true are those thoughts or rather stated.. are they a true reflection of what is actually going on in the world or our lives. The bulk of what we experience and the way we experience it is biased by the way we experience it. Can we ever be sure of what drives us or others around us to participate in what really happens? This may seem like a silly statement or rhetorical question.. but not really.. It brings me back again to a thread from some while ago where i questioned subjectivity objectivity and whole lot of other crap.. and something else.. We often stand tall looking into others lives and existences and throw a observational context onto their lives and intersect with ours. does this make us right or wrong, how often are we not clouded by our own inadequacies or granite slabs on our shoulders,, geez this sounding sillier and sillier by the minute.. But i am hopefully trying to get to a point in a moderately kidd gloved approach .. and yes it should have two d's cos that is the way i image the word to be..

To get back to a point that i know i previously have tried to articulate, but failed hopelessly in my attempt to translate random fleeting thoughts in my brain to electrons on the screen. But what makes for a good life, and how can we judge others and ourselves in contexts that are constantly shifting. I am skirting around the issue at a tremendous pace, looking for an entry position into what I am actually aiming at... silly i know..

But take a step back for a moment and consider how we, me, you, and all of us ( yes the comma is there 4 u2) perceive other people's lives in admiration, dastardly abjectness and pure horror. How we wish we could have part of what they have or in other cases would not wish it on our worst enemies. In Context I would like to stress that I have often looked at some others with an amazement at how close their lives live to the chaotic frontier of the universe and in other cases the absolute opposite. My question is of course can we actually judge people with seemingly insane penchants for the opposite ends of the continuum? I don't know, I really do not know at times how certain people who's lives cross mine are able to exist within the strict rigors of the pseudo western civilization/ de-civilization that we exist in. I find my self fighting my sense of objectivity or lack thereof.. and find myself looking at people and being amazed at the levels to which they are progressed in their apparent absurdness or directionality or lack of direction. But somehow that diversity of existence is paramount to the human condition.. that is IMHO only. In the same lines I see people living with extreme levels of irrationality and irresponsibility.. in my subjective framework of course, yet they appear to be living basically socially acceptable existences with many of the socially determined constructs and preconditions, yet at a micro level their is a disregard for the apparent rational or reasonable. I cannot fathom this condition at all... but who are we to cast a comment or judgment on others when our own existence is so fragile, how fragile the human condition actually is.

I hope you all appreciate the attempt to be slightly less moribund and self obsessed and darkly existential.. well I am trying to be in some way a little more positive or at least neutral on my perspectives of the human condition.

that is enough of my crap for a day or so..

although it was totally meaningless an fruitless it was at least an attempt at something less melodramatic ..

I will have to continue this at a slightly later stage when my thoughts are little cleared from their current internal haze..