an appology

even to me my miss spelling and chaotic verboseness has reached a new level.. that is after reading my recent blog .. which i seldom do ..

But it is in an attempt to cement that which is flowing through my brain in moments, sub moments of time into words that cannot or will not easily be expressed ...

sometimes i wonder if ... actually i am not sure what i wonder about .. lonesome wandering through the parts of my brain known and unknown even to me. the thoughts .. where they come from i have no idea.. why i write them .. well because this way you have to listen without showing boredom or confusion.. no that is a reality .. in the existence i experience as my own .. albeit a self referencing one .. things are a cloud of inner doubt and moment by moment experience of the world around us... i suspect that most of us battle to comprehend the amount of information entering our brains each moment of the day wishing for some solace and peace from the maddening croud .. sounding more and more simple as i plough throught the words eminating from the fingers of my hand .. the extension of my sould that is visible to a select fiewl, not by choice, but more likely by random observation or alocation...

on a more lucid view of these times in chaos .. i have little more to offer than they are .... times are random, time is fleeting ... i cannot get a hold of it .. is it possibel that we as a human race are losign a grip on reality .. no not that this is something new.. we are now moving into a new ground or at least i belive so.. there are those who belive otherwise .. that this merely a phase thatw e as a human race have been through before.. nothing new nothing different .. just a different manifestation of the human races ability to rock the boat .. punch holes in the hull of life.. slowley the waers of life invade our existence, note nothat punching a hole in the hull of life we lose life, we are letting life in.. and life, living and existence is chaotic.. are we just opening pandora's box again.. .. yes we are doing it to ourselves .. maybe there are to many people on this ship to many views.. to many things .. all these conflicting views .. metling into a pot like never before.. in the past geographic speration time differences, language differences and the likes kept us apart and killed us .. now slowly or rapidly depending on your frame of reference as we melt together int his mixing pot , all the good.the bad, the unknow we cannot even begin to predict the outcome of what to expect .. the number of intractions increase per second, the stochasticy of life starts to grow and develop into thebeast with many heards fighting with itself, the end is neigh .. or is it just the beging of a new phase .. what do we have to endure to go through this pahase in our human existance ... more sadness dismay, happiness, unending life .. countries at war people at war, idealisms.... nothing new .. al as old as the sun .. is it merely yhe elvel of observance .. and like I mmentioned before does the chaos increase or decrease with the increase of observance of the human existence and the increase in observants? or situations being observed.. are we testing the limits of what can and cannot be experienced, observed and controlled.. how long before we spin away .. thrown intot he chaos we as a human race have created turning back to most banal and primitive ways of survival ... llok at our worldin chaos .. financial systems imploding due the fact that they as a premise had not premise at all but were only a construct of those who built and profited out of them .. how could things become so bstract on the one hand .. and so simple ont he other hand .. life is no becoming more real and more of a challenge .. food crises brought on by the nature of futures, profit, greed and insanity ...

where does it stop .. where did it start .. are we acountable for what happens .. does it make a difference when we make a difference, what is the critical mass to make a change ..
the one thing that ahs allways worried me about the critical amss of change is the speed at which we live our lives and experience them.. things happen.. how long is it before what happened hasbeen clouded in a maize and smoke cloud of life around us .. 9/11 ... not that that is without its doubt .. is almost forgotten ? yet int eh same vein poppy day is not .. the relative importance and volumes of day to day information that we are being bombarded with tends to skew our perspectives.. disregarding the smokescreens of marketing being fed to us by the goverments of countries that we as a people sic! have voted for ... why is no goverement accountable to their people for their deeds? and not this is not a stab at our goverement .. but all goverments.. the lies .. the deceit .. the "protection" they deem is neccesary in their descision in what to tell us .. does global warming exist as a manifestation fo the human race .. or is it merely a cycle of this wonderfull planet we live on .. is it neccesary to polute the waters of our rivers .. not it isnt .. but isnt it neccesary to stop people doing this .... yes .. but why in name of humanity do we allow it .. i realize that us as people .. as individuals have a difficult time doing anythign about anything .. without being spewt underthe carpet of growth equality and capitalism or marxism .. no matter which way you look at it .. there has to be some jsutification for the actions of the human race sa a whole ..

i ask you with proverbial tears in my eyes .. why is it that humans do what they do......

and NO THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE to find an escape from your role in the existance of the human race.. it is your kick up the but to work out how we can change the world....